Baseball is the only sport where an athlete can disappear in the clubhouse during the game and take a dump or a leak. We, the audience, have no clue!!
Football and hockey players will likely need help getting undressed since they wear a lot of padding and protective gear. That would be a shitty job!
Basketball players need only to drop there shorts and they are ready to go!
Back in 2001 when I worked for the Spurs, the staff took a road trip to Reunion Arena in Dallas for Game 4 of the Western Conference Semifinals. That was also the last basketball game at Reunion. During the game, Dirk Nowitzki, ran to the locker room. I thought it was a bathroom a calling; but I later found out he got a tooth knocked out of his mouth!
My favorite story of an athlete using the bathroom involves Manny Ramirez, when he played for the Boston Red Sox. His position of left fielder is in front of the green monster; well, during a break in action he went inside the green monster to use the bathroom. Is there even a bathroom in the green monster? The green monster, for those of you who don’t know what it is, it isn’t the latest alien to be featured in a movie. It is actually a TALL green wall in left field in Fenway Park in Boston.
I read a story in January of this year about a professional soccer player named Mario Balotelli. Mario and his entourage stopped at a small college in Manchester so Mario could “use the facilities.” After he finished, they spoke to some teachers and walked around the campus. I am serious folks. The school didn’t check his ID, take fingerprints, test his urine (well, maybe after he used the bathroom), or check the sex offender database. They just let him in cause he is famous in Manchester City. Would they have allowed me to do the same thing? NO and I would be writing the post from a torture chamber; assuming that small college has one.
I am a subscriber to ESPN the Magazine and one of the articles from a few years ago was about athletes who poop during competition. It was a real interesting article. Yall should check it out; don’t worry, there are no disgusting pictures.
In High School, I was the manager of the football team. Before one game in the locker room at the school all the bathroom stalls were occupied by the BIG offensive linemen. How did I know? Well, there were no doors on the stalls!! It was very disgusting, it smelled raunchy, and I thought I was gonna vomit. End of story!
I think the worst bathroom I have seen and used during High School football games has gotta be Alamo stadium. It was built by the Works Progress Administration and completed in 1940 and I am fairly confident that the bathrooms haven’t changed since! There are two bathrooms in the press-box at Alamo stadium but they are tiny and I always have a fear of locking myself in them. Let me say that I am super glad the stadium will be getting a major renovation at the end of this season; about time!
Another High School football stadium bathroom I remember is Southside stadium. First, the stadium sits across from a pig farm and for that particular game the wind was blowing in the direction of the stadium, oh my god, it smelled so bad!!! Second, I had to use the bathroom and I have never in my entire life seen a cricket convention. It was like a million crickets all over the bathroom. Yuck!!!
The newer High School football stadiums have really nice bathrooms in the press-box. No exposed plumbing, there are doors and they actually lock, no crickets watching you, and best of all no fans allowed; only the media!
I have a great High School football media bathroom story for you. Before Gustafson stadium was renovated, the bathroom in the press-box was right next to the radio booth. For one particular game, one of the coach’s used the bathroom. When he opened the door to come out, it smelled awful. I was holding my breath and the radio broadcasters were trying not to laugh. I think I ended up opening the door to the outside to bring some fresh smell in the booth. To this day, this story is still talked about.
This morning, my Dad and I walked at Hardberger Park. We were halfway done and I really had to pee. This is serious folks. I could have really easily done what any basketball player would have done; just drop my shorts and pee in the bushes. But, I knew at the end was a professional toilet so I held it; not smart, but I am trained in doing this. And, dude, when I finally found that toilet….what a huge relief!!!
